When I began my career in public accounting, I had not spent much time in bars. I was uncertain of the protocol of ordering, the environment, or even when to leave. This unfamiliarity was magnified into great discomfort when I began working and realized that a lot of important business and networking takes place over casual drinks. I had to learn the rules fast, or my awkwardness at the bar might have handicapped me professionally.
The first thing I did was to follow the cues of my colleagues who seemed quite at ease conducting business at the bar. These were not the co-workers who boasted about how much they could put down, or got sloppily drunk every time alcohol was present, but those that ordered their drinks with ease, were able to recommend wines, and seemed to bring up appropriate non-work related conversations in a comfortable manner.
I soon realized that less importance was placed on what I drank, but how I drank it. It was always awkward to finish a drink a bit sooner than you intended, then have someone immediately offer you another. Before you know it, you're drunk. Sip slowly and controlled, and don't go for a second, third, or fourth if you know you can't handle it. Perhaps switch to a ginger ale in between, just to keep yourself steady.
As far as topics of conversation, if you are at a networking or social event, don't stick to business just because you think it's the only thing you have in common with your co-workers. Try and get to know someone without getting too personal. Find a common interest or share something interesting about yourself that you can talk about for some time. If the purpose of your meeting at the bar is business, perhaps an initial meeting with some out-of-town team mates, don't talk business until after the first drink. The restaurant or bar environment is quite different from the conference room, so if someone called a meeting in a more casual environment, it indicates that perhaps they are looking to get to know you and your colleagues before getting down to business.
If you don't drink alcohol, or have a very low tolerance, don't be ashamed to order a non-alcoholic mojito or other sophisticated drink without alcohol. You don't have to stick to water. Once everyone has their drink in hand, no one will remember that you technically aren't drinking.
The cover story of the July 2010 issue of Entrepreneur magazine is dedicated to the topic of conducting business at the bar. Along with some of the rules I have already shared, they also mention that standing at the bar is better than sitting, because you are in a position to receive others, you are more approachable, and you can more easily move to a more engaging conversation if your neighbor isn't the most beneficial person for you to be networking with among a group. Drinks should be ordered confidently, explicitly, and specifically. Have an idea of what you want before you step up to the bar. Check out what's on tap from across the room so you don't have to ask the server what is on tap. Also, don't order anything off the cocktail menu. You risk getting a fancy glace with fruit and umbrellas or a novelty mug. You don't want to be the one at the table with a stupid drink. At some point, order and pay for a round of drinks. And of course, don't get too drunk.
As far as when you should leave the bar, Entrepreneur suggests that about 30 minutes after you've deemed business has been taken care of is a good rule if the purpose of your drinking is to accomplish something professionally. If you are there simply to network or after work with your colleagues, leave after everyone has gotten comfortable and enjoyed themselves, but before the overtime sets in and people start drinking a little more than they should. You want to quit while you're ahead and sober. Even if you get along remarkably well with your colleagues, remember that these aren't your life-long buddies. You still have to work with them on Monday morning, so the last thing you want to be thinking of when you walk into the office Monday is how much you regret what happened at the bar Friday after work.
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